As I've previously revealed on this blog, when I was a kid I played soldiers just like all the other kids. Running around with cap guns or a cocked finger (oh er) going "Bang! Bang! You're dead!" was just they way kids did things back then. Back then it seemed like the military had all the cool toys - night vision, lasers, things that went fast, and lots of exploding things for killing people.
Of late it seems like the military is having problems getting anything more advanced than a plain of G.I. Joe on the ground. This was clearly demonstrated yesterday by the uproarious applause after one such G.I. Joe asked why the emperors army has no armour, and why as a result they are having to dig around on scrap heaps for it. I'm lead to wonder what has happened to Spc. Thomas Wilson since that fateful question was asked. The troops clearly loved him, he asked the unaskable for them, but I know people out there who are thinking like this... Surely such a question, embarrassing as it was to Rumsfeld and ipso facto the President, was unpatriotic? And being unpatriotic about the war, its like, not-supporting the troops, and if you're not supporting the troops your supporting those insurgents. Surely, they are thinking, for such an unpatriotic, damaged show of bravado Spc. Thomas Wilson should be taken out around the back and court martialed, or even better sent out armourless to the front?
I expect the military (or more likely Karl Rove) probably have something better lined up for him - "that Wilson boy", they are thinking, "his upper management written all over him". I'll lay money on Wilson turning up in about ten year in the five sided hell hole of "military intelligence" otherwise known as the Pentagon. After ten years stuck behind a desk tracking armour and bullet proof glass production statistics poor Spc. Thomas Wilson will be sorry for all that he ever said and be filled with nothing but love for the government.
By now you're thinking, "Would you just get on with it Gently and give us our phreaking hybrid story!". Well, okay but I promise its connected to the preceding comments.
Just yesterday I was reading about how Toyota of all companies, has joined an auto company led suit against California contesting its CO2 emissions laws. According to the NY Times, the auto companies are claiming that since they have no way to reduce CO2 emissions without reducing fuel consumption, then the laws are effectively state regulation of fuel consumption, which is illegal because only the Federal government can regulate that. Well I say, tough titties - go and invent a gizmo to sequester the CO2 in tail pipe emissions. If the oil production business can do it then so can you.
What I'm particularly upset about is that Toyota, creators of the hugely successful Prius hybrid car, have joined this suit. Even if they stood to gain from it, they could at least have made a stand by not joining it. Its ironic that the Prius is one of the few cars today that would meet California's emission standards, all they have to do is keep up the good work and covert even more of their fleet to hybrid technologies. Lets face it, the auto maker corporations are in the unique position to stay "f**k it, lets all make only hybrids and save the planet from global warming - they'll thank us for it later". But, no they wont do that until they are forced to, or because there is money to be made doing it and right now there is still money to be made not doing it.
So, not only is Toyota suing California, so are General Motors, Ford, Daimler-Chrysler, BMW, Mazda, Mitsubishi, Porsche and Volkswagen. That leaves only Honda and Nissan out on the side-lines for now, although both of them say they oppose the California regulations. Unfortunately that leaves just about no car company at all to buy a fuel efficient car from that isn't busy opposing emissions regulations that might force them to do it. Sigh.
Having read this story I joked to Agent J that with all the other auto makers in the dog house we'd probably end up waiting for Hummer to build a hybrid for us to drive. Knowing how much we both loath that behemoth it seemed like a particularly cruel twist of fate we'd have to endure. But you know, fate delivers her cruel twists in double-quick time these days. So with out further ado, let me introduce to you...
The diesel hybrid humvee
Yes folks, Military.com is reporting that those frightfully clever folks in the Defense Department have decided the best way to get all those danged tree hunging left-liberals to enlist is to give them a nice hybrid armoured Humvee to drive. Called the Shadow RST-V it uses half the fuel per mission that the classic gas guzzling hummer does, can drive up to 20 miles in electric stealth mode (ideal for appreciating the finer points of "Ride of the Valkyries" that you are blasting from the sound system), and has over 100hp of electric power to boost the 138hp diesel engine.
What particularly pisses me off is that I've been wondering for ages where all the diesel hybrids are. If you have a diesel engine you can shove organically produced, CO2 neutral vegetable oils into it, and have great gas mileage. Its the ideal solution so long as you can get a grip on the particulate emissions, a problem that surely someone, somewhere has solved and just isn't letting on. Then you don't even need a hydrogen economy, or solar and wind power with tons of batteries. Just clean safe home grown vegetable oil delivered straight to the door with your groceries (okay I know, WebVan is dead now).
Why is it the military (it turns out the project was co-sponsoured by DARPA, who also brought us the Internet) gets to create and drive around diesel hybrids and Joe Public doesn't? So, if you wanna drive a diesel hybrid before the Germans, you'd better enlist now!*
* See, I told you I'd get around to the point eventually
No comments:
Post a Comment