Two dollar bill R.I.P. (just my $2.00 worth)

No that wasn't a typo, I really did mean $2 worth and not $0.02 worth (or 2 cents worth). I just got a copy of Utne Reader and couldn't help noticing an article about the two dollar bill. You know that just kind of funny looking bill that might turn up in your change but once a year, if that.

Well according to Utne the $2 bill is getting a new lease of life thanks to its use in strip bars who are rapidly catching on to the idea of giving their customers change in two dollar bills. This meant customers no longer had any bills smaller than $2 to tip waitresses and performers. The idea of handing out $2 bills apparently started in Texas at a club called Baby Dolls, and this fact became so well known in the town that it was assumed any man spending a $2 bill had obtained it from Baby Dolls. The upshot was that actual patrons of the club would feel obliged to spend every one of the bills before leaving the club to avoid future embarassment next time they opened their wallet. So not only were patrons forced to tip at least double what they usually did, they also had to spend all the change before leaving thus further improving profits for the club and dancers.

According to Utne since 2001 the practice started in Texas has spread far and wide among strip bars such that the clubs use of them has increased the demand for the two dollar bill from the federal bank by tens of millions of dollars in bills per year. So big was the increase in demand that the Feds actually went off to investigate the source of increased demand. My prediction is we are now inevitably looking a the demise of the venerable $2 bill. Rumors of the bills frequent use in strip bars will spread far and wide, this will lead to a certain puritanical demographic into shunning the $2 bill, refusing to use it or take it as change. "My goodness, I'm not taking that bill, I don't know where its been!", will come the cries (as if we know where any of our currency has been!) Similarly anyone attempting to use the bills will become stigmatized such that they will just not want to spend them and hence accept them any more. Ultimately there will be calls to remove the "stripper bill" from circulation. There will also be spirited support for the bill by its fans - using it will be seen as a form of defiance. Support or lack of for the $2 bill will probably even feature in 2012 presidential debates (if not sooner) as some kind of moral litmus test for candidates. But the government, pandering to its base, will eventually be forced to oblige and remove the now tainted twofer.

If you want more evidence of the rarity of a $2 having interesting applications, just read about how certain Florida shoppers are using them.