Today I composed the Three Laws of Fruit Buying, partly because Isaac Asimov beat me to the Three Laws of Robotics, but mostly because today I realized there is a bunch of strawberries moldering in the fridge, and then discovered a bag of peaches moldering on the counter, only to discover another bag of distinctly soggy peaches and nectarines underneath it. Oh how the fruit juice loves to eat our zinc counter like alien blood through the space ship hull in "Alien" (sorry, no photo). Still, the remains of the peaches were quite tasty once I'd flushed the rancid bits down the garbage disposal.
Hence, the three laws of fruit buying...
- 1. The riper the fruit, the more one is inclined to buy some for dessert tomorrow
- 2. Tomorrow hardly ever transpires before said fruit have turned to fuzzy green mush
- 3. Tasty fruit desserts are often distinctly low-fruit or entirely fruit-free.
Corollary of the Three Laws of Fruit - dessert is a movable feast, but fresh ripe fruit is not - eat it off the tree, or in the store, but never leave it in the fridge or on the counter "for tomorrow".
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